Decluttering…relationships?


It’s time for us to evaluate some shitty relationships.

Some things in our life are worth decluttering. Jeremy and I are on this recent pathway to decluttering our life. Every day we ask ourselves:  “is this something we use?”

Use: (verb)- take, hold, or deploy (something) as a means of accomplishing a purpose or achieving a result; employ.
Synonyms: manipulate

When we think about decluttering, it’s normal to surrender to the notion that less “stuff” is better. You read all these articles about how people become happier with less clutter because things are no longer accumulating without a purpose. Every object brings them joy or serves some unique function because they USE it. On our declutering journey, we encountered two fantastic ideas:

  1. If you haven’t USED an object in 90-180 days, it may be time to evaluate that item, let it go, and declutter.
  2. “Love people and USE things, because the opposite never works.”

Relationships shouldn’t be the product of convenience or manipulation. I enjoy my Italian espresso percolator. It makes me smile every time I USE it. When I use it, I have so many fond memories of my Italian heritage. Plus, the coffee it makes is delicious. I can’t imagine my kitchen without it.

You can’t USE people like you use an espresso machine. It never works. Pretty soon they start to figure out that the relationship isn’t based on love- it’s an outlet for them to use you for whatever they need. And, when they’re done, they will discard you like the useless item in their junk drawer in order to make room for the new fancy gadget they have to take its place. Sometimes they mock you before discarding you-poking and prodding until you’re no longer fixable to them.

It can be easy to walk away from relationships that don’t work, but it’s much more difficult to try and fix those relationships before decluttering.

Jeremy and I evaluated, tried to mend, and have started the process of becoming free from relationships that felt more like a dreaded job than a loving balance. With so much negativity and faux personas coming from some of these people, we instantly felt better knowing that we don’t have this weight anymore.

Take time to mend and heal relationships, but if it’s one-sided, it seems more like use than a loving balance.

It’s okay to let go of the shitty people who try to use you.

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